


Into a Night Sky

by cherrysprite



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark, Death, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 23:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysprite/pseuds/cherrysprite
Summary: Everyone goes around and says their favorite memories of Liam. Theo can't handle it.or, the fic I wrote months ago but didn't want to post because it was so dark.





	Into a Night Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Please read safely.

  
Out of everything they could have suggested, Scott and Melissa decided that what the pack needed was what they called a "healing circle."

When the alpha had told them, it was during the first pack meeting in three months, the first time they had all been together in what felt like forever. Everyone was in the McCalls' kitchen. Stiles, Derek, Jackson, Ethan, Isaac, everyone who had been in the pack and was lucky enough to survive to that day in August were gathered. Scott had his arms around Malia and Corey was holding onto Mason tight in a way Theo hadn't seen him stop ever since It happened.

The Healing Circle, as Scott put it, was for Liam's friends, a place where they could finally find an outlet to say what they hadn't been able to about the beta, things that needed to be said and that they couldn't find the words to sooner. Theo wasn't expecting to be a part of it. He knew he was only at that pack meeting about a week ago because Mason told him to, and he was too weak to deny it. He hadn't thought that he'd be invited to stay and come to the next one.

So he was sitting on the carpet in Scott's living room, nursing a cup of hot coffee that he could hardly taste. He could barely look around at everyone else as they settled in, waiting for someone to start. The air was too heavy for anyone to open their mouths.

Melissa was there, one of the only parents there apart from the Sheriff, Chris, Jenna, and David. She took a deep breath and spoke quietly, grabbing Jenna's hand as she did so. "I think..." She started, only a few heads raising to look at her, the rest of the pack's eyes fixed somewhere else. "I think we should start with some of our best memories with Liam."

Jenna and David were already tearful, but Jenna gave Melissa a tiny but grateful smile. Theo felt his throat block itself. Next to him on either side, Kira was biting back tears and Malia was completely stoic and silent in her own way of grief. "Would anyone like to start?" Jenna choked out, and Theo knew it was because she couldn't speak herself. 

Scott turned to look at Mason, who managed to take his eyes off the floor and stop picking at the carpet. Theo closed his eyes. Of course Mason would be the first one to go. He remembered how much Liam used to talk to him about his best friend, regarding him as a brother. The way Liam described him, it seemed like they both had known Mason their entire lives. "Okay," Mason said, clearing his throat. He looked around at everyone; his eyes were red and Theo figured his vision was probably blurry. "I've had almost ten years of good memories with Liam, so, I, um, I don't really know how to start. But I guess...one of the best memories I ever had with him was in eighth grade, on our field trip to an amusement park." Mason laughed a little. "At that point, I was going through some really bad, um, dizzy spells, and I couldn't go on a lot of rides or do waterslides or things like that. Most other people went off and did their own thing, but Liam was the one who stayed behind with me."

That was just like Liam to do. Always there when you needed him, offering you companionship. It wasn't even like he wanted to do other things, because what he _wanted_ to do was keep someone company. Theo knew that well.

"What we did do, though, was manage to get kicked out of the lazy river and almost have our wristbands cut off," Mason said, glancing down at the carpet. He was picking at it again. "It was because Liam climbed on top of the rock wall and jumped into it, and flipped someone over in their tube. We ran out so fast. I didn't even know that guy could run that quick until I saw him book it out of there."

There were a few laughs from the other pack members, but Theo's mouth just twitched. He could totally imagine a fourteen year old Liam doing everything Mason said, from staying behind with him to keep him company and having his own type of fun in the lazy river. It reminded him of the time they snuck into his neighbors' pool one night and were almost caught. 

Corey rubbed Mason on the shoulder and his boyfriend leaned into him. "I-I'd like to go next, if that's okay?" Stiles spoke up, for once not sounding sure of himself. He sounded meek, quiet, but Theo supposed he would be the same. You can't always be sarcastic and hard about everything. A few people nodded, and Stiles smiled a little. "Okay. I'm pretty sure that the best memory I had with Liam was when I saw him after our fight with the Anuk-ite." Scott nodded like he already knew what Stiles was going to follow up with. "I mean, we were all covered in blood and our clothes were ripped and we were tired, but Liam made sure that everyone was okay after the fight, and when he found out we were, he gave us all a hug." 

The chimera's chest ached when he remembered the feeling of Liam's strong arms wrapped around him. He didn't know how important that would be to him in a few months.

"He gave us all hugs and told us that he loved us, everyone." Stiles grabbed Lydia's hand as she began to tear up. "He was kind of like a little brother like that. Family. I miss that little guy." Stiles didn't cry, but no one was surprised. If Theo knew anything about grief, it was that it came in all sorts of shows. Stiles only cried when he was scared. He wasn't the type to break down right away, even though it had been a week.

The floor was starting to fall out from under him as Jenna found the strength to speak. Jenna Geyer, Liam's mother, was one of the sweetest and kindest women Theo had ever met, and out of everyone there, she was the one who deserved this the least. There was no reason for her to be sitting in a healing circle, but Theo guessed that even the ones who didn't deserve it still were punished.

Jenna couldn't choose a memory, and Theo couldn't blame her. Spending nineteen years with someone that effervescent, a boy that bright and loving and perfect didn't make for a lot of missed opportunities. She described what it was like being his mother, and how he had been the cutest little baby boy she'd ever seen, and that she was proud of him for being who he was and holding out for so long. 

While Stiles wasn't going to cry, Jenna was holding back the flood and it was somehow hurting the chimera more to see her emotion than his own. He wanted to get up and go to her, but he found that his vision was too cloudy and he couldn't bring himself to his feet. 

Scott, Malia, and Lydia were the ones to speak next. They talked about different things involving the pack, like how he always put others first to help them, or the fun times they had together on outings and birthdays. It made Theo want to smile, but once again, he found he couldn't. He felt more and more like a rock than ever.

Isaac and Kira talked about Liam when he was younger. "We always fought over who was Scott's first beta," Isaac tried to joke, and everyone but Theo laughed softly. "I wish I could have gotten to know him better."

"Liam was one of my first friends I made after I escaped the Dread Doctors," Corey started. "But I'm pretty sure my favorite day with him was the one after we graduated high school, when we all went to the park and we got a frisbee stuck in the tallest tree. It was like...it was like we were all just normal kids."

Theo remembered that day. He remembered Liam's smile when he tried to get the frisbee out of the tree, and how Theo almost fell out of it before managing to knock it down with a stick. The chimera had teased him relentlessly about it, to which Liam always just laughed and reminded him that he was only an inch taller than him. "Yes, but I'm better at climbing trees anyway."

The night went on, and almost everyone talked. There were tears streaming down cheeks and people holding each other's hands, but there were smiles, which was what Melissa had meant to do. Remembering good times with a boy they all regarded as a brother, a son, or a good friend was helping their spirits to rise, and Theo knew that was supposed to happen, but deep down, he couldn't understand.

Everyone seemed to be leaning on someone else, no matter who it was. Stiles was holding Lydia's hand and leaning on his father's shoulder, Jenna and David had their ankles crossed and were mostly turned to each other, and Scott kept kissing Malia on the head.

Theo was cold.

He had his knees drawn up to his chest, when that had happened he didn't know, and his arms wrapped around them. No one could see more than his eyes from behind them, but he couldn't bring himself to move. It took everyone else calming down for someone to notice him. "Theo?" Jenna asked, a small, supportive smile on her face that the chimera had seen so many times before. "Do you want to say anything? You're welcome to." 

Her voice was gentle, but Theo startled and stopped zoning off on a random spot in the floor. He looked around the circle quickly, where everyone had mostly quieted and the majority were looking at him. There was no judgement in their eyes, but something about it made his chest ache.

He realized he couldn't breathe when he tried to take a deep breath and start, but he was already coming up blank. "Theo, sweetie, it's okay," Jenna reminded, but things were starting to fade.

Theo opened his mouth and nothing came out except a tiny breath that sounded like he had been punched in the stomach. Everyone was looking at him expectantly, tearfully, and he had to get out of there.

For the first time in hours, Theo found that his legs could work again and he began to scramble backwards and out of the circle. He got up. "Theo-" Mason started, and it was his kind voice that made Theo break into a run.

He pushed past the glass backdoor and ran out of Scott's house into the street, never minding the darkness that would have put him off before. Now, it felt natural and the only thing that was keeping him grounded on that earth. 

He didn't know where he was running to, his breath still labored and short, but all he knew was that he had to get as far away from there as he possibly could.

His vision blurred over when he reached the preserve and collapsed against a tall tree, the branches waving in the cold night wind. He wheezed in and out a few breaths of air and rested his head against the rough bark, staring up at the sky. 

Everyone else had been able to choose some memories with Liam, ones from good, long years of knowing him and getting to know him and seeing just how important Liam was to everyone, but Theo couldn't. If he had been forced to say something, he wouldn't know where to start. 

Should he have talked about the first night they met, right near the woods they sat in now? How the little "beta with anger issues" had looked him up and down and made him feel the first sense of real amusement in months with his threatening stare? Should he have talked about the time he told him that he wasn't going to die for him? The time he brought him back from hell?

Should he have opened his mouth in front of all of Liam's friends and his parents and admitted to everyone that Theo was in love with the boy who hadn't made it to his twentieth birthday?

The tears started to fall and Theo couldn't stop a sob from passing his lips as he closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the sky. If Liam were there, he would have comforted him and told him that everything would pass soon enough, because Liam was a firm believer that it would. He'd kiss him on the head and then his lips when he calmed down, and would sit with him for hours in the dark before they went back home and fell into bed together. 

They would have acted like it didn't happen the next morning when they were in front of people they knew, but as soon as they were alone, they knew what the other really felt. Theo choked on his tears when he remembered how Liam used to hold his hand and wrap his arm around him while they slept, and the way he snored quietly and Theo didn't even mind. 

But this wouldn't pass, and it was making Theo feel like there was a gaping hole in his heart that he couldn't fix. The only reason Theo got through his problems before was because Liam was there for him, holding him close when he needed him, but he felt freezing.

In the distance, he could hear cars coming and rolling into the preserve, probably coming to make sure he was okay, but Theo paid no attention. If they found him like this, so be it. It wasn't like it mattered. Finding him a mess was better than finding Liam.

Because Liam had been the most heartbreaking sight Theo had ever seen, and in his life, that was saying something.

Theo had been the one to find the note on Liam's shelf that he never meant for anyone to find, the one that went unfinished as he tried and failed over and over again to explain why he was doing what he did, but by then, it was too late.

Theo had run into the kitchen in a panic, and he didn't remember what he said to Jenna and David to make them jump up out of their chairs and call the police while Theo took off running out the door.

On the same bridge that Theo had contemplated jumping from so many times over, Liam let go.

The ink was dry on the paper when he found it. Theo should have known he would be too late. And as Theo cradled him in his arms, trying desperately to get air back into waterlogged lungs, Theo knew that he was gone, as the world that had beaten him down again and again had finally won and gotten to the one who deserved it the least.

Jenna's scream was muted and so was everything else that night.

Theo's now was too as he opened his mouth and yelled to the sky until his throat hurt and ran dry, until barrelling footsteps came towards him and he was wrapped in arms that weren't Liam's and Jenna knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug he hardly could fight.

"It's okay," Mason whispered as Theo shook and fought against their grasp. "It's going to get better."

But Theo could do nothing more than scream again, kicking and trying to lay down on the ground, wanting nothing more than for the ground to swallow him up all over again. 

His light was gone.

There was no hand to hold now.  
  


________

_Dear Mom, Dad, and Theo,_

_I'd first like to say that I'm sorry. I don't know how things got this way _   
  


_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner_   
  


_Dear Mom, Dad, and Theo,_

_First off, and the most important thing to remember, is that I love you all, and I'm really sorry that it has to end this way, but I can't keep_

**Author's Note:**

> Well...there's that. I know you didn't enjoy that, but thank you for reading. I sincerely hoped that I managed to make this convincing and actually good, since as I've said before, I suck at angst, but either way, I know I was sad writing it.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!


End file.
